Basebored
by Authenti
Summary: The BLU Scout finds that he's finally had enough of trying to play baseball with a blank wall during ceasefire. So, in an effort to keep him out of trouble, the Engineer steps in. Rated for general Scout douchebaggery in terms of language. No pairings.


There was only so much you could do with a bat and a ball, really. When he'd accidentally smashed one of the safe-side windows of the base, Sniper had kindly suggested another use for the bat, but he wasn't exactly going to try that any time soon.

And so, in the afternoon cease-fire, Scout found that he was finally bored of practising his swing. He attempted another shot, but his heart wasn't in it; the bat connected with the ball limply and knocked it in the wrong direction. Scout threw the bat after it in disgust and folded his arms, knowing how childish he looked just sulking this way but failing to find a single way of caring more about this.

As he stomped over to collect the bat and ball, he heard a familiar voice from somewhere above him. "Somethin' wrong, son?"

Scout turned his face skywards, following the voice, and tried to angle his head so that his hat still shaded his face against the overhead sunlight. Engineer peered out at him through an open window on the top floor, one hand on his yellow hard-hat to prevent it from slipping forwards.

Scout grimaced as the sun caught his eyes and looked back down to avoid it. "I'm frickin' bored, that's what's wrong."

"Only stupid people git bored, y'know."

"Spy said he was bored the other day. 'Cause of RED bein' too dumb to live, or summin' like dat."

"Like I said," the older man said, and tipped his hat with a comical grin. "I'll be right down, son."

It took Scout a few seconds to interpret the joke after the team's mechanic disappeared back through the window, but when he realised, he couldn't help but give a chuckle despite the bad mood he was allegedly in.

Engineer soon appeared from around the front of the team's lodgings (a simple, oblong building with no frills attached, situated behind their base so as to be out of the way of damage during battle).

Clearly he'd caught the receding grin on Scout's face as the joke wore off. "You done sulkin', then? C'mon, if you're that bored, we'd better find yeh somethin' ta do afore ya go do somethin' destructive." The man clad in overalls put a hand on Scout's shoulder and marched him off towards the front of the base.

Scout wrestled the arm off him and made to jog off ahead, but seemed to think better of it and slowed to the Engineer's pace. "Slow, hardhat. Real slow."

"Hush it, son, s'not like we're racin'." He flashed a wry smile at the runner. "Y'all know it wouldn't be fair if'n we were."

The pair rounded the corner by the edge of Teufort, now standing before their base. Engineer halted before they reached the bridge.

"Now, I know you ain't got two bats, so we're perty much just playin' catch; maybe I throw the ball to you and you hit it as far as you can?"

Scout's sullen expression brightened considerably. "Ya mean it, hardhat?" A friendly nod from the Engineer. "Frickin' sweet! Hey, but, uh… you got a throwin' arm? If ya throw like a frickin' fish I'm givin' up afta five minutes."

Engineer blinked at him for a moment, then burst out laughing and slapped his knee. "Of course ah c'n throw, Scout! Y'even seen me use this thing?" He pointed at his wrench where it rested at his hip. "Done in more'n a few REDs by hurlin' this, y'know." To prove a point, he yanked out the wrench and threw it like a knife. With surprising speed, the wrench span madly in the air and broke a fresh hole through the fence that surrounded Teufort. "An' you're gettin' that fer me when we're done. Your fault I had to prove m'self."

"Alright, alright." The thought crossed his mind to ask another question – are you sure you're okay to play? But Engineer had worked at Dustbowl for the better part of his 'career' with BLU, and if that didn't mean a hell of a lot of running from one side of the abandoned mines to another (and back again), then Scout's knowledge of Dustbowl must be seriously flawed. Teleporters were prone to being hogged by Soldiers and Heavy Weapons specialists once built…

"…Okay, yeah, sounds pretty solid. I'm right handed, so get over that side and I prolly won't knock it outta base."

Of course, it wasn't typical of Scout to give his word about something and _not _do completely the opposite; it was only a matter of time before the ball sailed into the air and straight over the bridge, landing on the RED barn roof and rolling out of view. The duo gazed after it for a while.

"Where d'you judge it ta have landed?"

"Courtyard, probably." Scout swore under his breath. "I'm not goin' for it. They got a sentry right on the walkway there."

Engineer put one hand on his hat and adjusted it slightly. The heat was making it sweaty and uncomfortable. "Well, ah ain't goin' either. I ain't even been there of'n enough ta know where I was goin'." True to his word, Engineer didn't often leave the BLU half of Teufort; his sentry guns got blown up less and were generally more efficient when they were in home ground.

"Spy could do it," Scout mused.

"Boy, y'think he'd risk his neck for you? Don't count on it." He grinned and slapped the younger man on the shoulder playfully. "Somehow, ah don't think he likes you much."

The Scout groaned and turned to boot the wall once, gritting his teeth against the pain that inevitably followed.

"'Ey, don't do in your runners, fag! You'll need 'em when I'm battin' yer head in later!"

The two BLU team members turned their attention to the roof of the bridge. Scout's RED counterpart sat on its BLU-side edge, one foot dangling down and the other folded beneath him. He was deftly tossing the lost baseball up and down in one hand.

"Well, don't that just beat all? Son, you best be handin' that back now." Engineer creased his brow, eyes unreadable behind shaded goggles. "If'n yeh know what's good for you."

"'Ey, _'ey_, relax, hardhat. 'S called ceasefiah for a reason. Just here ta return it, that's all." He tweaked his cap and stood up, pitching the baseball straight for the BLU Scout's face. To his apparent amusement, the latter caught it expertly and narrowed his eyes. "Look, I'm super bored, alright? No one'll play over on our half. So, ya know. If you're not, like, complete fags…" He didn't finish, but he didn't need to. They got his meaning just fine.

"Engie, you hearin' this? REDfag wants ta get his ass handed to 'im."

"Now, now, don't go throwin' that word around, boys. People might start thinkin' there's somethin' goin' on 'tween you two." Engineer smirked and turned around to head inside the base, feeling both Scouts' glares stabbing him in the back of his hard hat. "You boys sort this out y'selves. If'n I can't keep up with one of yeh, I ain't got a chance against two."

Engineer couldn't help grinning to himself at how easily his plan had worked out. Where a baseball was being thrown, a Scout was sure to appear if you waited for a while. And now he'd given Scout a baseball buddy, he could sit back and relax.

There was, of course, the whole thing about the Announcer. She wasn't going to like it.

But, Engineer thought to himself (as he hooked a small device onto the wire that led to the security camera that governed the ground in front of the base), the Announcer didn't have to know.

AUTHOR'S NOTE

excuse the lack of any kind of cool amazing story arc, authenti cannot into long plot

hope you enjoyed despite copious amounts of bromance and complete lack of any other kind of romance, i know some people seem to like that

reviews would be loved so much, you don't even KNOW

please review with ways to improve, if you do, i will let you taste some of this delicious fruit salad. it has all of the taste

_all of it_


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